Original: It was hot outside.
1. It was a burning hot day.
2. Zounds, 'twas hot!
3. The air was thick with heat.
4. The heat enveloped him, like opening an oven door.
5. Waves of heat bloomed up from the pavement.
6. The sun was suffocatingly close; it burned her lungs and cracked her lips.
7. It was a still, sweltering day.
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ReplyDeleteI like number 5. Using the word "bloomed" was a great choice - it isn't a common word to use in this context but it isn't strange either. It adds a level of imagery that creates an interesting appeal to the situation
ReplyDeleteI like your use of the word "zounds", a very underused word in our vocabulary. I think I will make it my personal mission to start using it more.
ReplyDeleteHoly cow these are great sentences! Ten times better than mine. I really liked number 6. Your sentences are very descriptive, I like 'em! And I like number 3, "The are was thick with heat." The use of the word "thick" made the sentence really powerful.
ReplyDeleteJenni I like your personal mission! I love when I can use words in sentences that aren't commonly used. Like poppysmic: the noise made when smacking your lips together. :)
ReplyDeleteI picked this sentence because of the story, "Rocket Summer", where the ignition of a rocket melts all the snow and makes it warm for a day in a nearby town.
ReplyDeleteAmanda, how does one pronounce poppysmic?
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